Starting with the Man In the Mirror

When I first heard the news via hot97 (same way I heard about baby girl Aaliyah's tragic death) I sat at my desk in disbelief. Googling all credible news sources trying to see if it was true and hoping it was not. Three stories were surfacing 1. He was in the hospital after experiencing cardiac arrest 2. He was in a coma and they were waiting for the family to arrive and make the final decision 3. The King of Pop was gone. But secretly I knew, when one source is reporting death it has to be true. No one would sacrifice their credibility to catch the first break in saying that this iconic man has passed.

Right away, I thought back to my sister's 5th birthday party on March 2, 1988 in my home on 121st and Farmers. See every year my family and friends gathered for me and my sister's birthday party. Thankfully one of my family members always recorded these events so they could always be plastered in our memories.

The party was fun as it always was. My close family members where there - my cousin most likely in his sailor outfit (navy pants and blue and white sweater) that was his going out outfit. My father with cheese doodle in mouth. Sucking it in and out making me, his 2 year old baby girl, laugh histerically no matter how many times I saw it. Cousin Elise, looking like the girl in every LL Cool J video, it's a Queens thing, My grandpa & grandma, Aunt Sheila, Uncles Solomon & Mickey, neighbors - Naja and Lashonda, Aunt Amy and Uncle Joe - who were really just my next door neighbors on the other side, and several of my mothers friends from work came by to say happy birthday to my sister and to see everyone together again.

The video shows adults laughing and children running around and playing (David not so much because his mama was ready to give it to him in every birthday video). In the corner in the living room you can see this bright light on the ground by the window that the camera pretty much stood clear of throughout the whole tape. The adults had one by one leaked into the living room and the kids, unsure of what was happening just continued to run and play. Then you hear "Shhhh Cousin Michael is on" Silence ensues. My mother bends down and turns the knob on the TV and everyone sits there in awe. Adults hold their position of elbows bent on knees and palms on chin, my aunt grabs my cousin as he sits silently on her lap, others, who would have normally complained over not having a seat, stand motionless and Don Don, who would have been told not to stand so close to the TV, stands feet away from the television totally still, watching this man pour his heart out not for himself, not for the Grammy's, but for the world to make a change within their own hearts.

Around the 3 chorus, I, at 2 years old, began to step side to side, in a baby sway for the rest of the performance. To know what was going through my mind at that moment is priceless, but as an on looker of the entire room today, you can see the impact of Michael, not only on his family, friends, fans, and loved ones, but on the mind of a 2 year old child.

No matter what people say about him, no matter who wants to claim or not claim him, this man has made an impact on each and every person, performer, friend, family member, child, enemy, and soul that has entered this here Earth post 1958.

He will be missed. He is loved. And in his memory, I've decided to adhere to his wishes and start with the man in the mirror. RIP Cousin Michael.